awal bln mac i offered myself to take care of my cousins since my auntie's maid quit. actually i dont really like kids....er... nope i do like them but i dont know how to treat them.. look, since i was kid i used to see many adults who spoil their childrens having a problem to control them.n lagy satu sbb sjk kecik adults slalu marah aku bile aku dkt dgn bdk2. since then, i build a wall between me and children..
sejak aku jadi babysitter kpade 6 kids including my sister i realize that i dont really dislike them. yeah ofcourse im being strict to them especially to harris (7), adhiya(6), lisa(3).. i dont know why whenever im trying to be nice to kids i'll end up make them sad..its painful.. i cant tell them that i love them so much.. i want to be their onne-san yg baik, yg warmth, yg blh confide n share their stories but everytime they ar trying to tell me something ill get annoyed n ask them to be quiet. n the result is my relationship with my sister getting far apart....
i just know that we must always hug kids so that they realize how much we love them..i know its been too late for me to hook up with my sister....... i love her so much.. my love towards her make me feel that i will protect her even my life is on the line. i wont let anyone to talk bad things about her...
but......................
why i always hurt her??? why i cant act nicely to her......?? why i always yell at her..??? why my heart feel so hurt when she is being spoil with others but not me???
since im taking care of my cousins i realize that i have not much time to spent with her.. i know she is kinda lonely n feeling left behind but i dont know how to tell her that there is no one can replace her in this house...
nota kaki------>angah sayang adik sangat2 tapi angah x blh buang ego angah n open up to u....i dont know why...i just can't
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| people said if we whishper our love to tulips , the tulip will tell the person u love about how much u love em |
*tears flow*
